Monday 3 April 2017

Relating to Others

Hi, this is Leo and Lundyn and last week we were writing about relating to others and taking responsible risks. This is Lundyn's story....

"Just have a go Lundyn," pleaded Mum.  Dad got the bike out of the shed and got on the back and I sat at the front.
Dad said "start the engine," and I pushed the go button and drove the quad bike.  My feeling inside were scared, nervous and worried.  Then I drove and drove. I started to go faster and faster.  Then eventually I CRASHED INTO a whole pile of sticks. Dad had to get off and get the bike out of the sticks.  Later on I had another go.  Dad said to go a little faster so I did it.  But something went wrong.
SPLAT ... SOMETHING WENT ONTO MY SHORTS!!!
''AAAHHHHH,'' I screamed. I hopped off and went to get the hose to get the smelly cow dung off.  I'm NEVER doing that again.

By Lundyn
                                              Here are some groups who are planning their stories.
This is group 5. This a listening group.
                                       
This is my group - group 8.
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12 comments:

  1. Unknown3 April 2017 at 20:54

    I can understand why you'd never want to do that again Lundyn - cow dung does not smell nice! Very entertaining story and I love that you said 'pleaded' - so much better than "said".

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  2. Caryn Magrath4 April 2017 at 13:38

    I LOVE this story Lundyn. You have done such a great job with it. It's great to see you using speech in your story which is one of the aspects of writing that we have been working on in class this week and last week - clever girl :)
    Your story was entertaining and you used terrific and interesting language. Well done!!

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  3. Unknown5 April 2017 at 11:30

    This is a great story Lundyn. You did a super job of including direct speech and I like how you repeated some words to give your story more impact. You showed good relating to others and taking responsible risks when you got back on the bike after crashing on the sticks. I think you showed real courage!

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  4. Unknown5 April 2017 at 11:31

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Unknown6 April 2017 at 06:45

    Hi Lundyn
    I think this is one of the best i have ever read

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  6. Unknown7 April 2017 at 13:14

    hi lundyn this is great job 😉😉

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  7. Unknown7 April 2017 at 13:15

    from kaea not crystal

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  8. Anonymous20 April 2017 at 08:34

    Hi Lundy that was a great story you did this is the best I have ever seen keep th great work up until you have finished all of your schools

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  9. Anonymous8 May 2017 at 17:57

    Abbie here I think our class is great!!!!

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  10. Aynsley Moore9 May 2017 at 21:09

    Wow Lundyn what fantastic vocabulary in your story, you have worked hard to make it entertaining. I can really hear your authors voice. Well done.

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  11. Anonymous17 May 2017 at 11:30

    Hi, Aston here,
    I think that Lundyn has wrote a wonderful story off of that plan that we had worked on in the groups.

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  12. Anonymous17 May 2017 at 11:52

    Ella.H here love the word 'eventualy'

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